


A Life Changed

by MoonCrescentNeko



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Amputation, Gen, Pre-Slash, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:13:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonCrescentNeko/pseuds/MoonCrescentNeko
Summary: Harry reminisces on a time that completely changed his life.





	A Life Changed

Harry took a deep breath and thought back to when his life had changed for the better. It was the summer after his fifth year of Hogwarts. That terrible summer when he had to deal with the death of, what he thought was his only last possible escape from the Dursley's. He had spent the first two weeks in a deep depression, not really noticing anything that went on around him. He still wasn't sure to this day if the Dursley's had ignored him during his time there or if he had simply been too deep into his depression to notice them. Entering the third week of summer promised to be just as lonely and depressing as the first weeks; until a large popping noise just outside his summer home pulled his attention away from thoughts of Sirius.  
\---  
Harry moved over to his bedroom window and peered out onto the street below, where the setting sun was casting long shadows over pristine gardens. Harry squinted through his glasses in hopes of seeing the cause of the only thing that had been able to pull his mind from the end of the last term. Fear shuddered through him as he saw the three black cloaked and white masked figures standing on his relative's lawn. Harry slowly backed away from the window then scrambled for the loose floorboard he hid his wand in over the summer holidays.

Downstairs the front door crashed against the wall as the intruders broke into the house. Briefly Harry wondered where his relatives were as he hadn't heard a noise from them since he had been pulled from his memories. Harry pushed the thought out of his head and crawled under his bed, in hopes of the Death Eaters not finding him. He took a deep breath and held it in hopes of calming both his ragged breathing and his racing heart. He tensed and let a scared whimper escape as he heard one of the steps leading upstairs squeak. Goosebumps spread over his body and strong trembles racked his body, making it impossible to keep completely quiet as his teeth chattered.

Harry trained his eyes on the visible part of his bedroom door as he slapped his left hand over his mouth; he kept his right hand, wand clutched between sweaty fingers, pointed at the door. His door creaked open slowly, and Harry felt the trembling intensify making aiming near impossible. He stuck his tongue between his teeth to keep them quiet and once again held his ragged breath. Three sets of feet entered his bedroom, cloaks swaying around their ankles.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are Potter." A taunting voice mocked. Harry tried to swallow the large lump forming in his throat as a chill went through him. The voice didn't sound familiar at all. "Aww is little Potty afraid?" the voice taunted again.

One of the other voices whispered something, Harry didn't understand and all of the sudden the bed was ripped away, exposing him to the threat. Harry quickly scrambled away and shouted a 'stupify' at the same time the man on the left shouted 'expelliarmus'. His wand was yanked out of his hand at the same time his spell shot out of his wand. The intruders easily avoided the spell as the middle man caught his wand and pocketed it. All three cackled, as they eyed the defenseless boy.

"I think we should have some fun first, don't you?" The middle one asked his fellows. The right one shot off a 'reducto' and Harry tried to escape toward the left. He wasn't fast enough however as he felt the spell hit his right leg, sending crippling pain through it. The pain echoed through the rest of his body as Harry screamed and collapsed onto the floor. Another spell hit him in the chest and pain started to course through him, making the earlier spell feel like a light punch.

Harry screamed as he felt his body convulse, pain exploding out of every nerve in his body. He tasted blood on his tongue before the spell was finally lifted. Harry lay there panting and whimpering for a couple of seconds before he felt searing knives cut into his chest. His mind went numb as the three continued to shoot spells at him. I wasn't sure how long it was before he finally lost consciousness, but welcomed the sweet pain-free darkness.  
\---  
When Harry woke it was to the familiar bright white of the Hogwarts infirmary. Harry scrunched his eyebrows in confusion; how had he gotten here? Harry wiggled his fingers and toes and felt the buzzing numbness he usually got from pain relievers.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, I see you're awake" Madam Pomphrey's brisk but soft voice stated.

"What happened?" Harry asked as he tried to focus on the blurry blob that he knew would be Madam Pomphrey. He blinked owlishly as he felt the cold metal of his glasses sliding onto his face. Madam Pomphrey came swimming into focus and Harry sighed in relief; he hated being practically blind without his glasses.

"The Headmaster and Professor Snape brought you in two days ago after they were alerted to an attack at your place of residence. I've had you in a medically induced coma so that I could get you healed up." Madam Pomphrey took a fortifying breath. "I'm afraid I have some bad news Mr. Potter. When The Headmaster and Professor Snape brought you in your lower right leg was quite mangled. After running some tests, it came to light that your magic had cut off blood flow to the lower limb in an attempt to save you from bleeding to death. The limb was dead by the time you arrived here and we had to remove it."

Harry stared at her, not really comprehending what was being said. Slowly he turned his eyes to his legs, where he noticed for the first time that the blanket fell flat well before it should have. Harry briefly wondered where the screaming was coming from as he continued to look at the area where his right knee and lower leg was supposed to be. It didn't make any sense to him; he could clearly still feel his whole right leg.  
\---  
When Harry next woke up the lights in the infirmary had been dimmed and were only bright enough to allow someone to move without running into anything. Harry turned his head toward the window and noticed that night had fallen. A pressure on his bladder urged him to get up and go to the loo; without thinking he immediately swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up to relieve himself.

With a loud startled shout Harry went crashing to the floor. He laid there confused for all of two seconds before the news from early was pressing down on him; threatening to suffocate him. The lights immediately brightened and hurried footsteps advanced on him. He paid no attention to the person who came to him as he felt his lungs close off and struggled to pull in a breath.

A cold glass bottle pressed against his lips and he tried to turn his head away. He couldn't drink anything right now, he needed to breath. Cold and rough fingers pinched his nose closed and a thick sludge was poured down his throat. Harry struggled for a minute before the substance was able to make it down his throat and into his system. He felt his muscles relax and his lungs open up again; he took a couple of deep breaths before he was able to concentrate on something else.

Harry looked up and found himself looking at not only the usually stern matron, but also the black clad potions professor. He felt blood rush to heat up his face as he felt the quickly cooling wetness on the front of his pajama bottoms. The two adults didn't say anything however; Professor Snape flicked his wand to get rid of the mess then preceded to lift him by his under arms and dropped him back on his bed.

Instead of leaving again, like he expected, Harry watched, astonished, as Professor Snape sat down in the visitor's chair. "I realize," Snape began "that this is a lot to handle, Potter, but you will have all the help you need to be able to come to terms with this. The Headmaster isn't sure how those Death Eaters managed to get through the ward, but we are doing everything we can to figure it out."

Harry stared at his professor, unsure of what to think. "Sir?" he started unsure if he should actually ask his question.

"Yes Potter?"

"Do you…do you think I'll ever stop feeling the missing part of my leg?" Harry looked down to his lap, no longer wanting to look at the stern man.

"I'm sure, eventually, you will stop thinking about it and down the line you won't even notice that it's not there anymore. It will take a while to adjust. Understand, Mr. Potter, that this will be a long healing process. Even magic can't grow back a dead or missing limb."  
\---  
Professor Snape hadn't been joking or lying either. Harry struggled with his healing for all of his sixth year at Hogwarts. As he reflected back on that time, Harry couldn't have been more grateful for Ron, Hermione, and surprisingly Professor Snape. All three of them had sat with him as he adjusted even when he threw tantrums or even attempted to end his life a couple of times.

It was just before Christmas that Harry had felt like he couldn't take it anymore. He quietly slipped out of the Gryffindor common room on his crutches and headed toward the astronomy tower. It was a long exhausting trip, but he had gotten used to having to use his arms and didn't tire near as quickly as he had the first few weeks. When he finally made it to the tower he gratefully slid to the floor against one of the cold walls.

He sat there watching the snow fall for a couple of minutes before his despair started pressing down on him again. Slowly Harry pulled out the small penknife he kept in his pocket at all times. He flipped open the blade and stared at its reflective surface. His face looked drawn and pale, and he had dark black bags under his eyes from his lack of sleep. Ever since the attack, Harry had suffered from worse nightmares then he had thought imaginable. He was utterly exhausted and each day it was a fight to pull himself out of bed.

Harry pulled up the sleeves of his robes and studied the thin white scars already on his skin. They were already several years old; from before he learned he was a wizard. He had been so young and quickly losing hope of ever getting away from his abusive relatives. He put the sharp cool blade against his left wrist and pushed down hard, dragging the smooth metal across his soft skin. Hot blood immediately gushed up to the surface and dripped onto the chilled stones under him. He quickly switched the penknife into his left hand and sliced across his right wrist as well. He sighed in relief as a familiar numbness from long ago crept over him. Letting the knife fall out of his quickly numbing fingers, Harry leaned back and closed his eyes. He hoped death came quickly to him. Just as his blood started to loudly rush in his ears he heard quick footsteps bound up the stairs toward him.

"Potter you fool!" He heard his stern potions professor shout at him as bony hands wrapped around each of his wrist in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"No" Harry whimpered. "Please, please just let me die. I just want some peace." Harry struggled weakly against the strong hands of his professor. Harry opened his eyes again in hopes of pleading with the man. Spots danced in his vision and Harry hoped that he would die before the other man could get him to the hospital wing. He lost consciousness just as he heard Snape start muttering under his breath in Latin and magic surrounded his bloody wrists.  
\---  
"Harry?"

Harry turned to the soft concerned voice calling his name. "Yes Severus?" He asked looking at his now close friend and mentor.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked as he joined him on the window seat attached to the magical window. "You look to be deep in thought."

"Just reminiscing. We've come such a long way since the time I was attacked two years ago and lost my leg. I can't believe Ron, Mione and I are graduating tomorrow. I don't even know what I want to do with my life, now that I don't have to worry about Voldemort. I never expected to make it through the war."

Severus chuckled softly at the young man in front of him. "I know exactly what you mean Harry; I never expected to survive either. I've decided to open my own apothecary; I could always use a store clerk if you're interested. It would give me more time to brew."

Harry stared at the man for a minute before a smile spread over his face. "I would like that." Severus gave a small smile back before getting up. He ruffled the young man's hair before retreating to the worn couch in the middle of his living room.

"Ron and Hermione should be here in half an hour for dinner. You should go get yourself ready." Severus stated off-hand as he started flipping through the latest potion's journal for an interesting article to read.

His life had changed drastically in the last two years, but he couldn't be any happier than he was right at this moment.


End file.
